I wonder if you still read this blog. I doubt it, actually, but you never know.
I was just sitting here a while ago and something made me think of you. It’s been an awful long time since we communicated in any way. I think a comment you left here on some article may have been my last contact with you. I don’t know why this is. Do you? I guess we just gently faded out of one another’s lives. Sometimes, that’s the way it happens with old friends.
This August will be 35 years since I heard you on the CB radio early that summer morning. You were trouble, alright. I was almost 17 years old. I was out of school, having quit the previous year and taken the G.E.D. I had a cool hotrod ’57 Chevy that I was constantly working on to keep the damned thing running. I had no idea what an effect you would have on my formative years as a teen and a young adult. You probably didn’t either. 😉
You broke my heart, you know… a few times, actually. I’m not blaming you for anything. I had a hand in it myself, I guess. That’s the way it goes sometimes. Some things just don’t work out as you’d like. We’re either fortunate or not that it happened the way it did. Who’s to say? I’m not sure what our lives would have been like if things had been different; could have been heaven, could have been hell just as easily.
I still think of you often; sometimes fondly, sometimes not. I’m sure you can relate. At one time, I loved you dearly. Later on, I remember you saying that I just “loved the thought of us”, and that may have been true by that time. Nowadays, I just love the good memories… the hours and hours spent drinking pot after pot of coffee and smoking pack after pack of cigarettes while sitting in some smoky booth at a Wags or Village Inn restaurant discussing everything under the sun.
I remember the long rides “around our asses to get to our elbows” for dinner at some restaurant in some nearby city or town where we’d never eaten before. I remember the hours and hours spent talking on the telephone. I remember the stolen kisses in darkened driveways and front porches. I remember those pretty sweaters you used to wear in the wintertime. I remember your long dark hair and your smoldering dark eyes.
I remember your inability to handle wine with your taco salad. HA-HA! 🙂 Sorry, that might not be a good memory for you, though. I wonder if you remember any of these things. Do you think of them occasionally? Do you think of me? Myeh… probably not. You moved on. You moved away. That was the beginning of the end, as we knew it would be. You had a whole new life to live. You’ve lived it. Your kids are grown. You have grandkids now. The times we shared are long, long gone.
I still have the memories, though. 🙂
Here’s hoping this letter finds you in wonderful health and a contented state. I’ve loved you. I’ve hated you. I’ve missed you. I’ve regretted ever knowing you. I’ve regretted losing you. But I’ve never forgotten you.
Until next time…